As the tired and weary UWMCCFC squad clambered on board our weekly team bus it just felt like any other Saturday. Most of the squad seemed to be more interested in the upcoming evening’s entertainment, eagerly anticipating the old boys circle. However, we had a task at hand, defeating, arguably the strongest team in the league, Warwick Finance Society.
We arrived early to watch Compton slump to another defeat against the Twats on Tarkett. Suddenly it was time for us to put together our typical hasty warm up, and for the first time ever we practised defending before a match, a revelatory approach from Matty Van Howe. There was one promising sign from our warm up, as Splatt looked to be on fire, pinging it in the corners with ease.
As soon as the game started we could see that this was going to be a serious challenge as WFS clearly possessed some technical ability and a good passing game. We responded in typical fashion, of pretty Barca-esque play around the box, but, much like a Bradshaw chop, no end product. The game was slightly ill tempered, this was symbolised by Jewson picking up his second yellow of the season after wiping out their striker on the halfway line as an attack was developing, and both teams trying to dominate the refs decisions, who was a bit of a wetter, failing to give a pretty horrendous 2 footed lunge on Livesey as a foul. After plenty of ridiculous handball shouts from a WFS striker Jewson was heard to respond “Shut up you cunt.” The game was a stalemate, neither keeper having much to do, largely down to some serious defensive organisation, maybe Louis should be renamed Howsé Mourinho? However, there was one moment of magic, as Splatt teed himself up for a volley, before hitting a dipping shot, which sailed over the diving keeper and settled in the far left corner.
Half time was called, and the UWMCCFC were buoyed up by this fine defensive performance, calls of dig in were heard. We headed back out onto the mist covered picturesque plastic pitch, not looking dissimilar to Anfield on a Champions League night. WFS came back at us with intent, really piling on the pressure, but our defensive unit held. There was one heart in mouth moment, as one player had a chance from 6 yards out, but couldn’t connect, eventually scooping it over the bar. Not long after Kraus was called into action to make a terrific save, instinctively sticking out a leg to save a deflected shot which had schlipped through Wood’s legs. We instantly went down the other end of the pitch, the ball bouncing through to Splatt, who was never going to miss, and he speared the ball into the bottom right hand of the goal, our job was nearly done. Soon after Splatt turned into the creator, whipping in an free kick, which goal machine Rob Clayden managed to get his head on and send into the top corner. Much like Hall with Ali West’s sister, WFS just couldn’t penetrate us, except for one moment late on, when Kraus was required to rush out, and having studied his German hero Manuel Neuer, and tackle the striker as last man back.
The game was over, and our immaculate defence, and some Splatt magic up front had seen us home. Howsé Mourinho commented that he hadn’t wanted to a sub because everyone had played so well. It was arguably our finest performance in recent memory, and gives us serious hope for the remainder of the season, well played lads.