UWMCCFC v ASOC, 19/02/2022

Sorry for the delay on this match report, I actually had to do my degree last week, but we should be back to normal programming until the end of the season x

A freezing afternoon on Tarkett saw the boys come away on the right side of a tight game against ASOC, keeping alive a tiny slither of hope for the title.

The day started in standard fashion, with the game before us running late. However, this was actually a good thing for a change, as half of the team didn’t turn up until after the scheduled kick off time. This also gave debutant George Harvey some time to get changed, placing his gilet underneath his white top.

By the time the game before us had finished, everyone had turned up and we made our way onto the pitch to carry out our standard warm up. Bennett went for his piss, I scuffed a few shots, and George scored a screamer with his first touch of the ball.

We had a fairly standard lineup out, with the exception of Zachary Scott, who was making his debut after being in my bar crawl group the night before and telling me that he played right back. I turned up to see that Zac had been to sports direct that morning to buy a brand new pair of Sondico boots. Always the sign of a good player.

The warm up was relatively brief as ASOC were keen to get started, and we started the game very much on the front foot. Some good early play from our forwards saw myself on the left hand side with the chance to whip the ball in. Unfortunately, my left foot offers about as much value as Tanmay Desai at a performance session, and the cross went nowhere.About 10 minutes into the half, ASOC found themselves in our half with some space for the first time, and with no one pressing him, the ASOC striker fired a shot from about 25 yards, which went sailing over the outstretched hand of Will Tall and into the back of the net.

This ASOC goal clearly gave us the wake up call we needed, as we began to string passes together, and really come into the game. Cooper Smith picked up the ball in our half and began to dive forward, seemingly without even thinking about it, he played an inch perfect pass around the oppo defence and into the path of Henry Wilson who showed some unreal composure to slot the ball into the back of the net and level the scores.

Not long after his goal our dominance continued, as we pinged the ball around the pitch in a great move, before I fired it into the mixer towards Henry, who put it on a plate for Sam Barlow. Sam then proceeded to miss the worst chance I’ve seen all season, and set the tone for the rest of his game.

Despite this miss, Sam was straight back into the action, launching a ball over the fence of the Westwood 3G and into the shrubbery beyond. Shclub captain went to retrieve the ball, but when he realised that he needed to crawl through a gap and potienally “get muddy” he bottled it. My captain’s instinct kicked in, and I subbed myself off to go and retrieve it, making way for George Harvey to make his debut.Not much happened for the rest of the half, and we headed into the break with the scores level.Two changes at half time, one of which saw Mikey Rowlatt make his way onto the pitch, with us hoping he could produce a piece of magic like he had, against us, 2 weeks earlier.The start of the second half was much different to the start of the first, with us playing some excellent football. Our midfield were, for once, finding the final ball into the forwards. Unfortunately for us, Sam Barlow dropped a hall of shame performance, and couldn’t finish to save his life.

Despite how well we were playing, it seemed as though we were going to need a piece of magic in order to score a goal. Luckily, that is exactly what happened (apparently).

Someone blasted the ball over the fence, and being the good captain that I am, I went to get it. The opposition had a goal kick, so I assumed that I wouldn’t miss anything too big by turning my back. I picked the ball up, turned around to come back, and saw the ball in the back of the ASOC net. Turns out, I missed a “35-40 yard” screamer from Cooper Smith. I can’t describe the goal to you, but it’s been described to me as Thiago’s goal vs Porto, if it was hit harder. Other people compared it to Pavard’s goal in the world cup, and Steven Gerrard’s goal in the 2005 FA Cup final, but personally I don’t remember that goal.

There wasn’t long left in the game, and we could tell that ASOC were gonna throw everything they had at us. The game had been a bit scrappy, and they weren’t the best blokes, but Ed Churchill decided to get in their head in a different way. “They’re gonna bomb us lads” shouted Ed, “They’re gonna bomb us”. Taran Jina was clearly shocked – and had to remind Ed that he couldn’t say that. I think Mr. Welfare, James Patient, will need to have a word with Ed soon enough.

The goal clearly didn’t fire ASOC up enough, as we continued to dominate the game and create chance after chance. Unfortunately, Sam Barlow continued to miss chance after chance. Eventually, he missed one and I just subbed him off, making my way back onto the pitch.

At this point we had resulted to hoofing the ball at every opportunity, and my fresh legs allowed me to get on the end of a few of these long balls. Everyone was screaming at me to hold the ball in the corner, but I wanted glory, crossing the ball a couple of times towards aerial threat Mikey, but to no avail.

Eventually, I accepted that I wasn’t gonna get on the assist spreadsheet, and held the ball in the corner until the referee blew his whistle.

A great performance from the boys to see us come out on top against an opposition that we made look a lot better than they were, and keep alive our hopes of finishing near the top.It’s recently been announced that the top four in the league are going to go into a playoff, with a semi final and a final. We currently sit in 6th, and need two big results from our final two games to put us in a playoff spot, so any support in the next two weeks is massively appreciated. We have the 11am fixture both weeks so please do come down to Tarkett and show your support. Also, if any of your mates are quite good at football, ask them if they fancy a game.

See you next week, Tom x

(King of Rainbow Road, robbed of a football photo, Cooper loves my googly)

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