UWMCC v Marton

As the clock ticked towards 5, the lads gathered at the sports hall reception for one final outing. As Murphy nervously waited for the car keys after the other week’s farce, the team was nearing completion with Curtis being only 5 minutes late this time! However, whilst Murphy pulled the party van round, we were still missing the cheeky company of Seb Sander. After several calls with no reply, skipper Murphy decided to unceremoniously drop Sander and replace him with committed clubman Josh Crine. The subsequent journey was filled with tune after tune off Captain Murphy’s “Tunes” playlist leading to the team bouncing into the connection arena in high spirits. A forced toss put the oppo into bat due to their reduced numbers, a true Cov Indoor rarity for UWMCC. Curtis opened up with furious pace and bounce and Murphy followed suit with the second. The breakthrough came early as Seb Gemes, after losing the gloves to Tim, gathered one off the wall and clipped off the bails at the bowlers end for what would be his only contribution of the game. The next two wickets fell by run out soon after through some very tight bowling and Josh then managed to get one bowled as the oppo slumped to 45-4. One of their batsmen even managed to talk his way into batting twice to make up for their player shortage, Murphy feeling sorry for the poor team, and also actually wanting a worthwhile target to chase. Josh then got him LBW on his first ball of his second try, plumb as they come in front of middle. However, UWMCC couldn’t get the oppo’s special snowflake one handed batsmen out as he made a handy 36*, thanks totally to the non strikers running ability, to bring the target to a reasonable 90.

The chase didn’t get off the best of starts. Seb was playing in outdoor mode a month early as he creamed the first ball into the cover wall only for it to cannon off and nestle into the one functioning hand of their special snowflake. Tim then came in to bat out the rest of the wicket maiden. After that rocky start, Tim and Akash kicked into gear with some good running and a marvellous couple of boundaries from the former. Akash also showed his desire to impress, determined to run a at one occasion. Tim then retired (27*) allowing Josh to come the crease and continue the well constructed chase. Unfortunately, Akash soon fell for a wristy 21 but Murphy (18) and Josh (22) saw the boys home with two overs to spare. Fittingly, the season’s last action came with the oppo wicket keeper challenging Murphy to a well known game of “6 or gay”, when 2 was needed to win. Murphy preceded to dispatch a manly maxim to definitively prove his sexuality and finish off the game and the season. Having come off the field victorious, Tim looked at his phone only to burst into hysterics and reading out Cheeky’s reasons for swapping the Connection Arena for his newly found juan. His excuse included a series of profanities followed by “I totally forgot”, another series of profanities, and a somber “I so sorry”…..A true clubman.

After proudly collecting the coveted 3rd place medals and Curtis singing along to “N****s in Paris” on the way back, the team treated themselves to a Phantom Coach dinner to discuss all the memories that were accrued over a truly enjoyable Cov Indoor season. Special thanks the Captain James Murphy for his top driving throughout the year, who despite countless losses, was able to navigate the whole time without a stall.