4pm – 12 dice bought in Tiger Leamington Spa
Tiger – awful shop for anything besides dice
Lewis – social sec for the night due to Tasty and Randall’s absence
Lewis – nervous but more scared for everyone else
Lewis – 1.5 hour total journey time on the bus to the 4s game, Stowford Press the only way to save it
Stowford press – best cider ever
Back of bus – A few hockey players discussing how money is a social construct and how we should be able to trade with chat.
Taylor – I’ll be able to buy loads of beers tonight with chat
Men’s Hockey – getting no beers if this policy sticks
Hockey – Ugly
Hockey – shit blokes
Hockey – wetter than Graham Norton over an Irish pop star
7pm – 4s completely bottle it, Northants need 10 off 24 balls, get it to 5 off 6; Ballo goes for 4 off the second ball.
Blozza – gets 4 wickets
Baggy – still evasive
Game – over
Rhys – upset
Turner – still old
#Youfours – praying for the return of Yeti
Crowd – quickly dash to rootes grocery store for what I thought was food but was actually a very large amount of throwable sweets.
8pm – people arrive at circle
Thor, NJono – tables bitches despite all other circles being set up before we arrived.
First session – the calm before the storm
Motw nominations- Roche: Nominated for being a clown and abusive at Luvbug on Saturday night, it was choppy’s 21st and many clubmen had ended up at Luvbug. Roche having also finished his exams, was sent and had reached his usual aggressive level pushing anyone in sight. Clubmen hate this but this time he went too far and aimed for Sarah, Dan’s girlfriend. That’s two arrestable offences this year for Jez, hopefully third time lucky and the police will catch him. Owen: Nominated for chundering before a gamble at a Fresh pre-kasbah circle on Monday night then hoovering it up, poor Henry. Matt Thomas (Monty’s lover), Louie: Nominated for getting so seshed after his exams that he walked a 1-mile route to spoons in the pouring rain with only one shoe on. What a mess.
MOTW – one clear winner
Roche – Told to double and wear the dress
Psychedelic glasses – also given to Jez as MOTW
Ducks wack – handed out to any BUCS ducks this season.
Amogh – Doubling
1st rule – for the first session only if you miss the bin with any throw you must wack until you get it in.
Circle – angry
Lewis – simply explains that after 2 terms of training we should be able to throw a cup 1 metre.
Cricket – the real winner
2nd rule – in expectation of clubmen returning the favour by throwing chairs at Dan, Dan warns that any chairs thrown will be greeted by a chair thrown back at them.
An eye for an eye and all that.
Game one – 20+1
Lewis – keeping it simple
Gamble – fresh one-minute challenge
Fresh – 30 between 14, do 35.
Fresh – legendary
Krish – starting it off well by throwing all 35 cups into the bin without missing all at once
20+1 – all the way through first time
Rule – Murphy; nod on odd
Murphy – Odd on Odd
20+1 – straight through again
Rule – NJono first 5 must be in German
Circle – from then on failing miserably.
Kushal – poor at throwing, missing not once but twice.
New game – Kraus cricket
Gamble – fresh world cup (delayed until 2nd session)
Lewis – playing the game early to hopefully give the batsmen in the club some confidence for the remaining BUCS games
Cricket – clearly being played at Cryfield
91 all out.
Ridge – despite being a multiple of 4 throughout the entire game, on 91-9 going against it and attempting a 6 not his 4. Clean bowled.
New game – Tinder
Gamble – Matt Thomas Spicy Wack
MT – almost allergic to spice
MT – given a pint of Purple with 1/3 of a tube of Tesco’s chilli powder mixed in
MT – bravely puts it away, then sends next 10 minutes in the toliets.
Thor – in deep trouble as can’t throw straight, great way to prep for that Saturday exam
Tinder – lots of colluding
Tinder – still not many matches for UWMCC
Super like round – Rhys and Merriman of course
Recess
Lewis – sitting in circle not knowing what notes to take
Revision – much easier than writing mupdates
9pm – Hey there you HQts
Sharon Carpenter – delaying circle
Lewis – you’ll never win boys so get to circle.
2nd session – hard to control
Start – Fresh World Cup that was pulled out in 1st session
FWC – essientially a Carling cup
15 – the extortionate number of fresh
Matt Thomas – gifted a bye as still struggling due to the spice
MT – looking like a puffed up fish when overseshed
Rav – World Cup winner
Rav – winning more trophies than Liverpool will in the next 72 years
Super gamble – Murphy and Ferdi literally the same time so one each
Murphy – good – nominate a red button
Red button – given to Krish, 3 red VKs, no time limit, definitely room to improve this gamble
Ferdi – bad – deconstructed purple
Krish – being soundly beaten, good first VK speed, but no stamina
New game – Premier league darts
Game 1 – Casa de Cartel divided, Clem Vs Roche to start
Kushal – again missing and losing the darts
Lewis – using his defensive chair to sit on whilst darts occurs. Helps rest the legs.
Game 2 – Rhys, Sohil and Dilhan shlotting a 180, 3 sent to Merriman
Game 3 – dream team of Lewis, Sash, Owen, Choppy Vs the Fresh (Amogh, Rav, Krish, A.N.Other)
Dream team – failing to match the hype, winning on speed but missing all their shots.
Double due to poor performance
New game – 1 die
Gamble – trouble on the central line
Gamble – invention by the Fresh, Ballo has to consume a purple, VK and hundreds of thousands down a kitchen roll tube.
Ballo – world class for effort
Purple – easy
Hundreds and thousands – stuck in tube
VK – pushing them through
Jo Ballington – can be a proud mum tonight as Ballo even does another VK through the tube for the boys
1 die – soon making Dan realise that people actually don’t like dice games and get bored very easily
Ferdi – hoarding all the dice
Game – over quickly but not before 4s bottle jobs and Merriman were targeted.
Louie – still always on his phone despite claiming to no longer be messaging Hannah
Krish – approached by two females which makes Louie look up from his phone for the first time that night
Females – made to do a wack off against Krish
Krishan – embarrassingly losing
Lewis – thought dice would last longer so panicked
Circle – decided to play ICICN
ICICN highlights – BUCS Ducks, Darby Clubmen
Raj – shouting he was so sober
Raj – minutes later pissing in the bin in the corner of CR2
Circle – international cock or ballllllll, International cock or ballllll, international cock or ballllll, international cock or ball
New game – international cock or ball
Circle – seeing Raj getting his cock out demand the new game
Circle – controlling and moving on by its self
Up for cock, down for ball.
Raj – It was cock – scenes, most of circle losing that one
Lewis – attempts one last ICICN before recess.
Circle – about as creative and full of ideas as Hayley off Love Island
Ideas – shit
Circle – rowdy and uncontrollable
Lewis – drop kicks bin across circle to regain everyone’s attention and call recess.
Recess – uneventful
3rd season – looser
Imagine – dinosaurs chilling before the meteor hit, then the meteor strikes – that’s how open and loose 3rd session was.
New game – Roman numerals
Gamble – Owen “Love Island Rouge Bar”
Owen – must apply to next years Love Island in Rouge Bar and send a screenshot to the BOIS! (STILL NEEDS TO OCCUR) (OWEN CLICK HERE) – https://itv.etribez.com/ag/itvli/loveisland4/welcome.html
Roman – boring, no-one gets to the end
Boredom – perhaps the cause of the madness later
Madness – whilst Roman Numerals is occurring on the far side of circle, Krish sends a pint at Louie.
Louie – responds with a chair
Ferdi – also throws a chair
Ferdi – a human wrecking ball
Ridge – hit in the face with a VK bottle
Chairs – over 5 thrown
SU worker – informing Lewis he had sent for the bouncers, Duncan, a tank and an 12 nuclear war heads
UWMCC – not worried
New game – Speed 20+1
Game – the same as earlier
Game – calms down circle
Bouncers and Duncan – do not appear
Tanks and Nuks – appear, clubmen quickly smashed
Gamble – Sash – double gamble wack (not really – just forced onto him as the chant calmed down circle)
Louie – not listening, pint all over him
Louie – throws one straight back
Sash – doubles
Gamble – left and right magic roundabout, Sohil and Aragog in
Sohil – slow
Sohil – Still spinning somewhere on campus
Random bloke – shouts at our circle
Pint – thrown at random bloke
Bloke – understands and leaves after wacking his pint
Circle – somehow ends
Toliets – Rav’s phone thrown in urinal by Lewis
Rav – shocked
Lewis – power hungry
Rav – picks up the phone and continues to use it without washing it
Megamix – not needed
Clubmen – dead or not sashed, large divide
Rav – singing Angels alone
Pop
Ferdi – stealing revision notes and ripping them to shreds
Raj, Ferdi, Lewis – 12 bombs in 2 mins
Raj – “Dan, can I check that this is actually your card this time?”
Matt Thomas – looking at his exs profile on insta
MT – spice sending him mad
Ridge – somehow his phone left behind the bar in exchange for 100 VKs
VKs – not real
Sohil – loving life front left
Ferdi Rex – dead
Mr. And Miss. Rex your son died as he would have wished – seshed, aggressive and hating all hockey players
Murphy’s chat-up line – “Do you want a bit of his Blonde Bombshell?”
Blonde Bombshell – pied 3.14159 times
Bird – a true clubman
Bird – front of pop all night
Circle – eventful
Circle – uncontrollable
Circle – survives another week