*Notes for future social secs

Den – Writing Mupdates, setting the standard for future Mupdates
Den – Trying to organise a pre pcp pint in the sun but forgetting that the sun goes down at 6, therefore unsuccessful
Lax Girl on Bus – Telling us that their theme was London Underground and that her mate was going to circle as ‘Angel’ but dressed as a nun. Clearly not the brightest light in the harbour.
J$ – Annoyed at the incompetence
O’Farrell – weirdly driving on for circle, kindly delivering Son Jark, Long Jon and the returning Cooper to circle
Pool club – Bex .v. Bozza 2-1
Boz – “I reckon I make 80% of the pots I aim for”
Boz – claim
PCP – Lots of Tour Ties on show
Gamble pot – too many cooks
Murphy – unbearable chat when coming up with gambles
Bozza – investing his bus money in the quiz machine, potential £10 return
Quiz machine – flummoxing Bozza with a question on Jasper Carrot’s football loyalties
Jasper Carrot – does not support Wolves
Chattle – Mug
Turner, Randall, Timmo – Having to set up, fighting the hordes of Ladies Hockey bints that set up every week
Circle – Very weirdly shaped, inexperience showing
*PCP highlights – not a diary, nobody cares about your day
Curtis – Forgetting the MOTW dress having to run back to AV to fetch it
Curtis – Back remarkably quickly
SU Paramedic – trying to squash our circle even further to leave space for getting the toilets. Turns out men can be bints too
SU Paramedic – A real dick with a stupid ponytail
MOTW – Cooper and Ballotelli
Cooper – Getting inexplicably sent at an alumni curry, falling asleep standing up on the tube and vomming all over Liverpool Street station
Ballo – turning up ten minutes late to a test at the beginning of term and then failing to put his name or student number on the paper. Having to own up to his stupidity at a recent test in front of his entire course
*MOTW stories – Appropriate length
Ballo – losing the wack off and donning the dress
New Game – 20 + 1
Gamble – Escapes us
Murphy – Losing and introducing Table Wacking (predictable, boring and the behaviour of an imbecile)
*Table Wacking – Should not happen every week
Other rules – equally as underwhelming; shit load of 0s and then multiples of 5= ‘good girl’ any of some creativity?
SU Steward – Coming over and informing us that we cannot go behind the DJ booth to get to the bar or else we will be kicked out
Rooty – Trying to negotiate
SU Steward – Calling Rooty out for being a cunt
Bex – ‘So we have to go the long stupid and convoluted way as opposed to the quick, easy and sensible way?’
New game – chosen by Mezza via his successful gamble; Danny Williams PLD his game of choice
*Games of DWPLD – played, no one cares who partakes, wins or gets 180s
Gujar – plundering pints despite his team being far far behind, frankly moronic behaviour
Jezza – Losing and being given another, mildly annoyed but doing them all the same
Choppy – pushing for a ramped up version of the PLD song, sounding like a strong German raving session
New game- a rogue early Face Down Eyes Up
Gamble – Aneesh pulling out the Evian Wack
Evian Wack – Does what it says on the tin, got to wack an Evian Bottle’s worth of Purple
Aneesh – A sterling effort, sending close to 1.5 litres with aplomb
Aneesh – Clearly can hold more liquid than Hall, rewarded with a standing ovation
Jezza – attempting a ground war against Bexson, setting off a chain of whispers to send everything Bexson’s way
Bex – Not being nominated once
Jezza – Anger steadily building
FDEU – shambolic lack of wacking, no one matching five times in a row
Rollover – now up to ten pints
Curtis – made to wack for looking into space
Curtis – claiming to be looking at Son Jark
Son Jark – not 10 ft tall, on review
Curtis – not only a wetter, but a liar
Recess – uneventful
New game – Kraus’s cricket
Will O’Farrell – “fuck”
Super Gamble – Gujar pulling out the ‘Invoke article 50’
Invoke Article 50 – A Murphy brainchild, essentially he thought it would be a good name for a gamble but was struggling to actually come up with anything
Murphy – Eventually deciding that whoever pulls it out gets to make a chain of 5 people that is active for the whole of second session
Bex, J$, Cooper, Larks and Murphy – The chosen ones
Hall – absolute brain explosion, accidentally signalling 4 and 6 as opposed to 4 and 5
Aneesh – suffering from his earlier gamble and snicking off next ball
Club – Skittled for 61, a sign of things to come?
New Game – Sherwin Ball
Gamble – north of Warwick one minute challenge
Ballington – looking at Larkins, “Spain is south, right?” about as sharp as a marble
Jezza, Rotty – victims, despite Jezza’s claim of everyone being north of Warwick by living in Leamington
Lawson – also falling foul to the gamble because of a quick rule change and made to join in
Rotty, Jez – sober
Lawson – a true northerner and chiming in with 3 plucky pints
Jezza – early signs of his later demise, deciding to “build a wall” to prevent clubmen’s access to circle
Several Clubmen – Having to have full on brawls with Jezza just to get to the toilet
Sherwin Ball – Uneventful
New Game – ICICN
Gamble – Larks pulling out rainbow, gamble, wack
Larks – Off to fetch his VKs
ICICN – Presumably pretty gash
Random hockey bloke – Walking to the loo behind Bex, Cooper et al
Randall – Outraged at the bloke’s audacity, deciding to throw a pint at him, absolutely nailing him
RHB – Turns around to see Bex standing up yelling ‘cunt’ at him and assumes he threw said pint, grabs one of Jezza’s pints and sends it at Bex
Bex – Soaked and pissed off, picks up a pint, goes up to the bloke and chucks it in his face
Jezza – Collateral damage, ending up nearly as wet as the hockey bloke
RHB – Looking pissed off but realising that he was not going to better 30 clubmen all loaded up with plenty of ammo and kindly fucking off
Recess – some clubmen sprawled out on the sofas while others try to hide VKs
New game – Duck Duck Moose
Gamble – Non tour tie wack
The jealous masses – wacking
Bean for Sport – Coming over to talk to someone (probably Larkins)
Cooper – You fat slag!
Bex – physically restraining Cooper, not wanting to ruin relationships with the new sports officer before she even takes over
Duck Duck Moose – Someone probably picked Mezza
3rd Session – A bit of myth, nobody really knows what happens
New Game – Speed 20 + 1
Gamble – Pyromaniac Wack, anybody who has a lighter on their person has to wack
Guj – Well on the way to lung cancer
Various others – Also wacking
Speed 20 + 1 – pretty predictable, not much to note
New Game – One Fat Frog
Gamble – Fresh 1 minute challenge? Who knows
3rd Session – descending into anarchy
SU Steward – Eventually coming over and telling us to pack up and move on
Megamix – Turner deciding that he should be in charge, sacrilege of the highest order
Turner – In need of a sabbatical to go and clear his head?
POP! – Dave giving his obligatory shout out to Hall and finally giving in and adding Luther Vandross to the playlist
Toxic bint – Present
Hall – For fucks sake
Toxic bint – getting with some bloke, rumours that it was not her boyfriend, toxic cheating bint?
Cooper – Suave, sophisticated and successful… are not the words I would use to describe his antics
Chindi (female Chandi lookalike) – The chosen target once Cooper realised that his chop from his last visit had schlotted herself a bf
J$ – Just like clockwork, leaving early having not participated in Megamix
Rouge Bar – filled with clubmen, Ellie once again sorting everyone with Jungfraubombs
Bozza – Tucked up in bed in preparation for his exam the following morning
Den members – Watching a bit of of NZ Vs SA, general hatred of JP Duminy
Guj and Larks – Checking out the new flames
New Flames – Basically the same as the old Flames
Spicy Bites Owner- still waiting for Bozza to go and order the usual
JP Duminy – Taking a 4 fer that would make Taylor Weeks proud
*1350 = Good length for mupdates

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