Fresh- A strong contingent meeting at 6:30, an early start considering the long night ahead
Tasty, Rooty, Ferdy- Introducing the fresh to the delight that is the U1
U1- Presumably gash
Exec Meeting- Prompt start, all bar Kinners managing to grasp the concept of time this week
Kinners- Preoccupied with thoughts of dinners
Clubmen- slowly filtering into the J&J
Kinners- Shamelessly promoting his campaign to be one of 6 whoppers on the democracy exec, even taking people’s phones to vote for himself
Democracy- Turning in her grave
Goodyear and Bex- Heading to MB to remind/warn Abdul about UWMCC’s imminent arrival
Abdul- How is Dan Lewis?
Other Customers- Bringing their meals to a close
MB- Gradually being filled by sesh hungry clubmen
Old- Danny Williams, Alex Walker, Stods and Bradshaw returning
Bradshaw- dragging himself away from his beloved statistics for a few hours
Hammond and Wellsy- Gracing us with their presence
MB Staff- Amazed Jewson is still a student, one particularly shocked waiter proclaiming ‘he’s gotta be at least 30 by now!’
Tasty- starting proceedings with the obligatory GENTLEMEEEEEEEEEN…
MOTW-Strong competition this week
Jezza Poach- being nominated for bday night antics, the night seemed to be going predictably with Jezza sending J-Bombs and fist pumping to generic club music, however one drink too many and Jezza is being carried home by two mates. Upon arriving home Jezza realises that one of his flatmates has clearly had a more successful night that him. Instead of leaving said flatmate to get on with the chop a drunk and sexually frustrated Jezza takes it upon himself to start banging on the door ‘Let me in! Let me in! It’s my Birthday! LET ME JOIN IN!
Guj- Being nominated for sports ball muppetry again, smashing a car window and consequently being banned from the SU until term 2. Not realising he was banned and rocking up to circle in week 2 only for sirens to start blaring and a massive warning sign flashing on the screen when he scanned his card.
Inth- Being nominated by Tasty for somehow managing to piss on his UWMCC tie, the details escape me but not content with this sacrilege Inth commits the cardinal sin of washing his tie!
Bex- Much to the joy of the baying crowd, being nominated for a particularly outlandish pair of Tartan trousers
Bex and Jezza- Wacking off to see who who have to send the pint of MB’s best Red Wine, Jezza adopting the bizarre tactic of not even trying, consequently losing
Turner – wacking a pint of red for his birthday too
Jezza- Paying an early visit to the toilets, the first of many clubmen to make use of the facilities
Curries – ordered, games of arrogance starting to get going
Kinners – pleading with the waiter, eventually arranging for his extra large curry to be served early
Bex, Goodyear, J$, Rooty- Filling the void left by Hayes et al, summoning various fresh for stints at the ‘Table of Loose Behaviour’
Fresher Curtis- annoyingly good at every game, a bizarre but effective tactic of shuffling along the table while playing fill the cup
Fresher Tim- Not quite on the same level…in a world of trouble early doors
Fresher Joe – Coming out with a quite remarkable story, which I no doubt am doing a disservice, but to get to the point 15 year old Joe
ended up in bed with a girl post GCSE Prom wanking himself off in an ill-fated attempting to ‘get hard’ while simultaneously chundering on the thoroughly unimpressed potential chop. Safe to say this was not to be the night Joe lost his V-Plates. Even Adit Kulkarni would have been impressed with a bottle on that scale
Other attendees – Fresher tall Seb, Fresher normal sized Seb, Fresher Akash, Fresher Mihir, Fresher Arjun, Fresher postgrad Henry, Fresher Krish
Merriman – losing every single time the arrogance cup reached him
Fresher Curtis – demolishing 3 curries, 5 naans and 2 rices, a front runner for any potential UWMCC Man Vs Food challenge?
Balti – usual delays meaning that most clubmen had finished their curries before smaller tables had even been served
Fresher normal sized Seb – heavy stint at the Table of Loose Behaviour, unable to touch his food
MB toilets – destroyed, repainted a lovely shade of vom
Fresher Tim – taking a power nap in the corner
J$ – the unfortunate responsibility of sorting out the bill, good practise for counting his money later in life
Clubmen – stingy as usual, leading to a sizeable delay in getting to Kelsey’s
After eights – any of?
Kelsey’s – fresh introduced to the magical/vile (depends on how you look at it) concoction that is Eliminator
Fresher Tim – eliminated
Pool – aplenty
Clubmen – leaving Kelsey’s for the bus stop
U1 – arriving just before clubmen started to collapse from hypothermia/oversesh
Bus driver – not actually driving this U1 to campus, waiting for a second bus to arrive
Clubmen – Making their way onto the second bus
First Bus- Going home to tell his mates about how he mugged off a bunch of degenerate Uni Students
Megamix – the usual strong verse followed by some mumbling
Jerusalem – strong
German bombers – shot down
The Jonny Hall One Man Call Centre – just getting started, unable to reach the Merriman family, settling with leaving a voicemail for
Amanda Roche
Wellsy/Choppy – meeting, almost ripping a hole in the fabric of space and time
Fresher boat race – uninspiring, most adopting the Howard Lippiatt school of thought, not actually swallowing the alcohol
Fresher Seb – on his phone during the boat race, not quite grasping the race part
Piazza – customary vomming
Fresh – those still standing making a beeline for Pop!
Fresher Joe – distraught at the waste of vodka despite barely being able to stand “just give it to me!”
Pop! – Rammed
UWMCC – after much mingling/chirpsing in Rouge Bar, heading for the front
Jagerbombs – alllllll of them
Hat stealing – rife, Bexson and Fresher Joe the main culprits, Bozza chipping in with a cap
Clubmen – sent
Memories – ropey, comment what happened below!
Den – clearly not satisfied with curry, heading to Sicilians
Indian girl in sicilians – dressed to impress
Weird Sicilians guy – “she’s a bit naughty”
Den – bemused
Club – loose

Widget is loading comments…