“Ridge there is absolutely no way that you are fitting in this car”
Ridge – attempting to squeeze in the back of Amogh’s Corsa with the rest of the Cricket House
Ivan – the only remaining option
U1 – graced
Conversation – sparse
Gamble Pot – taking priority
Chat – fire emoji
Krish’s Birthday Speech – the main theme of the pot
Ojas – making the big return
Job – secured
Randall – table pimp
Randall’s table bitches – Essex and NJ
Little Mark – can’t believe Randall is still running circles
Randall – can’t believe Mark is still little
NJ – gaining his MCirc degree as the perfect circle is constructed
Lads – complementing how circular circle is
CR2 – empty
Banging – commencing
GENTLEMENNN!!! – good ebening
Krishnu – doing a birthday boy pint
MOTW – Only two little ones this week due to the reading week casualties
Krish – nominated for a variety of ways of being wet. At Krish’s 21st birthday party, he gave a speech thanking his friends for coming and making his time at Warwick very memorable. And then he decided to go off at a complete tangent and talk about the development squad and their mighty leader, Ed Churchill for about 5 minutes. Full transcript on the Bulletin Board. Very Wet. Not content with that, Krish then wet his bed. HBD.
Ridge – nominated for just being mega judas. Ridge has refereed 4 games over the past 2 weeks, giving our 3 red cards and giving absolutely no decisions for the mighty UWMCCFC, ruining our 100% start to the season. Weak.
Cheers – unanimous
Krish – donning the dress on his Birthday
Purple Fleece/Dress combo – not a good look
New Game – Wack
Gamble (Ridge) – No-movember
No-Movember – a wack for everyone not partaking in Movember
A concerning number of clubmen – not taking the pedo plunge
Wack – a new game indeed
Everyone – wacking
Ivan – the obvious loser
Reason – poor wacking technique
New Game – Roman Numerals
Gamble (F-dog) – Ed Ed Ed Ed… Ed
Ed Ed Ed Ed… Ed – a great line from Krish’s speech
Development – wacking to the tune of you are shit
Owen – invited to explain why the large group have not made squads
Owen – running to the toilet
Roman Numerals – kimming the fresh
Fresh – no idea what the fuck is going on
XIX – chief kimmer
Club – threatened with a club wide wack if XXI was not reached
XXI – never threatened
Boys – wacking
New Game – Tinder
Gamble (Owen) – Mein Church
Mein Church – Somehow another line from Krish’s speech
Owen – having to build a 3 strong team to take on another 3-man team in a boat race with a twist
The twist – funny as fuck
Location – Leamington Church
Time – 10am, Thursday Morning
Owen – tactically selecting central leam dwellers against a team of poor unsuspecting fresh
Freshers Laurie, Archie and Harry – first experience of a morning U1 incoming
Fresh – good luck
Tinder – matches aplenty
Bumble – get fucked
Super Like Round – taking forever as circle is decimated
3 Super Like Rounds – passing without matching
Club – fucking ugly
Muncy – being applauded back into circle
The prophecy – Muncy = Matches
Reason? – must be the Muncy
Matches – none
Randall – fuming so changes the stakes
Next round – regular tinder with doubles for matches
Circle – colluding af
Rory – matching with Ivan
Bromance – so strong
New Game – Reverse Sherwin Ball
Gamble (Ravi) – Double Gamble Wack
Chants – echoing as Ravi argues that he didn’t gamble, but simply thrust his arm forward at the wrong time
Parkinson’s – setting in
Ravi – chokes the double
Gamble (Ravi) – Five Rivers Executive Lunch
FREL – Muncy must go to Five Rivers in a suit and eat lunch within the next week
Muncy – also bottling the final pint but probably chopping the steward outside the door of the toilets
RSB – quickly through the first round
2nd Round – in French
The number – dix-huit
Rory – “dix-neuf”
Rory – au revwack
The number – trois
Rudi – “I don’t fucking speak French”
Rudi – wacking
Tune – Rudi by the Kaiser Chiefs
New Game – Kraus’ Cricket
Gamble (Sash) – Fresher 1 Minute Challenge
Fresh – heavily depleted
Target – 10 between 4 fresh
Fresh – managing 5
Future of the club – as rocky as MT and his ex’s relationship
Future – also about to get rockier
Men – begging for recess
Randall – didn’t come to sit on his phone
New Game – Heads or Tails
Gamble (Ojas) – I don’t expect anything back
IDEAB – another nugget of the Krishnu speech
Ojas – allowed to nominate 5 pints to people around circle
Ojas – obviously doesn’t expect any pints back
Nominees – allowed to send their pints back if they want to
Ojas – receiving a triple back
Nojas – did not expect this
HoT – only 2 rounds
Rory – insisting that he knows which side the coin starts on
Heads – is the call
It is a tails – oops
Rory – “we’ll have a wack mate”
The boys – not expecting recess
Recess – welcomed
Harry & Rory – putting fresh in the hole
Fresh – discovering Rory’s VK he stored in there when he was a fresher
Sell by date – 12/2017
The Hole – mysterious as ever
Tumnus – soon to be returning from Narnia
Ojas – leading the SBS in a Bollywood recital
2nd
New Game – Danny Williams Premier League Darts
SuperGamble (Sharquiss) – Iron Liver Challenge
ILC – 5 in 2 minutes
Sharquiss – off to a great start with 3 in the first 70 seconds
However – it’s a marathon not a sprint
4th pint – going down slowly
Crowd – losing hope
Sharquiss – activating second wind trait and smashing the final pint
Time – 1:39
The only thing faster than that – the run to the toilet
Circle – standing and applauding
DWPLD – scenes
Danny Williams – returning
Team Rudi – taking on team Owen
Scores – 4-3 going into OT
Team Owen – smug with speed on their side
Rudi – as other ideas
Rudi – chews two pints and schlots both with seconds left
Team Rudi – loves Ws
Next Game – SBS vs Team Bird
SBS – boasting a sweet 100% record so far
Rumours – DWPLD is even more suited to their style of play
Rumours – oh so true
SBS – schlotting 5 in a row
Predator missile – inbound
Randall – missing the fabled 360
SBS – visibly annoyed
Score 5-1 going into OT
Randall – making up for his miss by schlotting a double in OT
Sash – bringing it home with the second 180 in the game
Final score – 9-2
SBS – 8 to nominate
New Game – Trivia (Krishan Edition)
Gamble (Sash) – Taking the PAIS
Ridge – explains his frustration at the number of clubmen infiltrating the PAIS common room and making full use of the free hot beverages
TTPAIS – all that have consumed said beverages within the last week must wack one, with proof in the next week
Hot chocolate – not an ideal wack
Ridge – do a real degree mate
BSc – alpha
BA – more like BetA
New Game – Mexican Wack Off
Gamble (NJ) – Keith Bumdungeon
Jimbob Turdbag – the second coming
NJ – must change his name to Keith Bumdungeon on FB for the foreseeable future
Circle – in stitches
MWO – speedy
Fresher Harry – losing and heading to collect his tequila
New Game – One Fat Frog
Gamble (Owen) – Slip Cordon
Krish – 1
Rav – 2
Sash – 3
Karma – with a side of justice
SBS – drowning
1FF – carnage
UWMCC – not making it past the 2nd round
Recess – called
Marquiss – returns from the dead
Pitkin – nominated 3
Essex – nominated 2
Ojas – continuing his conversion of the SBS into the Sortof Bollywood Society
3rd – lets do this
New Game – Black Black White
Gamble (Fresher Laurie) – Granit Xhaka
Granit Xhaka – almost as unpopular as Rohan Argawal
Fresher Laurie – must take off his shirt and throw it at another circle and tell them to “fuck off”
Fresher Laurie – runs past numerous small cirlces who wouldn’t have given a shit if he’d have chosen them and ends up and the one and only futsal circle
Futsal – full of cunts
Fresher Laurie – yeets his shirt in and shouts fuck off
Gesture – not going down well
Fresher Laurie – wearing a vest underneath his shirt
Circle – demanding that he repeats the dose with his vest
Fresher Laurie – for some ungodly reason, deciding to go back to futsal and go again
What follows – lots of rude hand gestures
Futsal Whopper – stands up and tries to look all alpha and rip Fresher Lauries vest
Whopper – unsuccessful in ripping the vest
UWMCC – heckling hard
BBW – fresh cant crack the code
Bird – naming 4 colours wtf
Ojas – finally cracking the code after a year of guesswork
New Game – Duck Duck Moose
Gamble (Fresher Harry) – Dilly Dilly
Dilly Dilly – little blue pilly
Ravvi – the master
Sash – once the apprentice
Fresher Harry – young padawan
Fresher Harry – more like young bonerwan
DDM – uneventful, couple of close games
Randall – not really paying attention and forgetting to check who wins
New Game – I Claim I Can Name
Gamble (Rory) – Reading Weaklings
RW – targeting all the reading weekers amongst us
ICICN – people who could rip Fresher Laurie’s Vest, with proof
Krish – called out
Krish – summoning his inner Ed Churchill and tearing through the retrieved vest
Most of circle – able to rip through the already ripped vest
Futsal – get fucked
ICICN – Reasons why Ridge would send someone off
Punch – of course
S6 violation – of course
Getting stabbed – duh
Being shot – oddly, no?
Ridge – claiming that its too unlikely
Ridge – better be wearing his bullet proof vest next time he refs UWMCC
New Game – Speed 20+1
Gamble (Sash) – 1-minute plank
Sash – get your rig out
Lads – cant tell if its Sash or Fresher Harry entering circle
Darb – sucked in
Empty cups – lined up
Sash – lasting 20 seconds before a stray crosswind knocks the pint off his back
Micro-circle – uneventful
Pitkin – claiming a win despite having 8 pints left at the start of speed 20+1
Question – wtf do you do for the rest of circle?
Megamix – more like fucking megamess
Randall – Roberto Holding the circle together
Enthusiasm – lacking
Persistence – rewarded as Jerusalem perks up a few lost souls
OMFG – SU stocking Watermelon VKS
Boys – piling in
Watermelon VKs – sold out within 20 minutes
Randall – distributing plastic straws
Front left – wrestled back off the whoppers in shit shirts
Krish – stealing a ‘gringo’ hat
Gringo hat – more commonly known as a sombrero
Disco Dave – hounded with requests
Dave – providing
Frisky – good
Rory – friskier
Drum and Bass Father – most certainly a change up from ABBA
Pop – essentially empty
Boys – still staying on till the end
Rain – fucking yeeting down
Fresher Harry – coming back to the cricket house in preparation for Mein Church
Why – nobody knows
Fraser – offering to shag a lad on the U1 for the ‘right price’
Lad – not taking Fraser up on the offer
Amogh – getting back to his GF’s and pissing in her bed
Bed – not as wet as people who go home for reading week
Cricket House – packing Son and a sweet 600k on ultimate team
Ultimate Team – SBS in DWPLD