Term 1, Week 8 – The Yeti Melts

UWMCC – heading in early for the sizing session with the Canterbury rep, showing us the various goods
Hasnain – asking the Canterbury rep whether he looked better in blue or black
Rep – thinking Hasnain was hitting on him
Howe – buying a bottle of wine from Costies and sneaking in sips whilst hiding from the terrace bar staff
PCP – a very long one, many clubmen anticipating a heavy start
Qasim – showing up with his Ainsley Harriet mask again, a new alter ego?
Kraus, Chandi – queuing up to set up circle
Chandi – getting scared and not coming up the stairs once the social secs were called up, leaving Kraus to set up on his own
New fresher, Fred Reynard – sending over a table which was holding about 12 pints, a modern day tragedy losing purple like that
Circle – despite rumours of a small one, about 35 people
Kraus – getting circle under way early
MOTW – Kraus nominating Sittampalam for getting kicked out of POP! early last week due to bowel related difficulties, seemingly having the dress in the bag
Denne – nominating Cooper for ‘shady behaviour’ in POP! the week before
MOTW – a rogue victory for an unimpressed Cooper
Jaimin – wacking for scoring against the our football team on the Saturday
Hall, Teds – doubling for losing the weekly golf match against Yeti/Jewson 2&1
Gamble – non CMD wack, a good way to get most of circle wacking early
Kraus – starting with 20+1
UWMCC – good start, getting to 20+1 straight away
Cooper – new rule, multiples of 5 are in foreign languages
UWMCC – using some rogue languages
Sittampalam – just making random noises
Howe – gambling and pulling out the ‘to my left Guinness double’
Chandi – the unfortunate recipient, no Guinness in the SU so having a triple instead, not anywhere near finishing it
Kraus – new game, 3 man
3 man – working for about 2 minutes before 4/6 dice went missing
Kraus – kicking things off very loudly after our prolonged recess
Kraus – Who wants a Trivia?
Trivia – latest cricketer to hit 100 first class centuries (ramps), Amount of tests Strauss played (100, jewse guessing 89), First man to score 10,000 test runs (Gavaskar), first black Zimbabwean cricketer (Henry Olonga, Barclay, no clue), Lowest amount of innings per ODI centuries (Amla, Denne shockingly getting right), only person to take 2 hattricks in one test (Jimmy Matthews, Teds, any?), Nationality of Hall’s first love? (Romanian, Moose nailing it)
RAG – intruding to raise contributions. £15 required to nominate someone for a gunging
UWMCC – very stingy, crawling to £15, nominating Ed Cooper to go in the gunge tank
Cooper – furious, exclaiming “I donate to the Royal British Legion, not RAG! I refuse to do it!”
Kraus – thinking he’d escaped, inevitably stepping up
Gamble – ‘pulled a member of Goodyear’s kitchen wack off’, Denne, Hammond and Cooper
Cooper – losing by a mile, furious about Denne’s cup squeezing strategy
Jewson – ‘are you knotty in disguise?’
Gamble – Yeti vs Moose double wack off
Kraus – building up the hype… massive anti-climax, the Moose destroying an already struggling Yeti, who struggled to double, a sad scene
Kraus – now is probably a suitable time to introduce a new Mupdate feature, Yeti watch
Yeti watch – a rollercoaster of a day for the Yeti, that started on the 9th green during his earlier golf match. After having a bad game he had his first headsgone moment, threatening to stop playing and walk off the course. Convinced to stay on, he managed to play the back 9 of his life, winning 4 holes. He returned to circle exuberantly, and seemed to be having a nice time. One too many purples later and the Yeti had his second headsgone, breaking up a small skirmish between Swatton and a mutual golf friend and resolving the situation. Suddenly he attacked Swatton himself, causing further violence, having to be restrained by Denne. Fast forward to POP! where he left at 23:10 due to over sesh, and best friend Swatton had to talk him out of resigning for Match Sec for nearly an hour. Satisfied and content, he went home, only to wake up at 5am having pissed himself. After a quick shower, he popped into his flatmates bed to cap off a dreadful night.
Kraus – new game, Cricket
UWMCC – woeful, crumbling to 64 all out even with the aid of substantial cheating
Kraus – second recess called
Circle – as third session approached, circle clearly too drunk to function
Henry Bowen Gamble – Qasim Viper Harriet wack off challenge
Ainsley – defeating Bowen, and suddenly producing an RKO outta nowhere that Randy would’ve been proud of
Fresher Bowen – on the canvas
Kraus – new game, face down eyes up
Adeel – incapable of moving his face down, wacking
UWMCC – lots of rogue claims
Kraus – new game, 1 fat frog
UWMCC – absolutely gone, majority slumped on the sofas
Circle – grinding to a halt, most clubmen having drunken their brain cells into submission at this point
Micro circle – short
UWMCC – migrating to POP!
Megamix – Fresh dominated taking place in Rogue Bar
POP! – the front clamped down by us again
Sir Disco Dave – delighted to see us again
Stodhart – brain relaying left right and centre
Denne – reportedly pulling a worldie
Kraus – called up for his gunging, ending up with just a smurf hat and a UWMCC tie on. Gunging was cold, but it did allow him to go for a big Jurgen Kilnsmann dive across the stage (unfortunately cutting his hand open)
Sir Disco Dave – astounded
Chandi – trying his luck with a bar maid, getting locked in the bar
Clobber – gunged by SU staff
Rooty – pulling, scenes
Kraus – returning triumphantly

Clubmen Comments
Andy Tate: With regards to our potential Match Sec vacancy – “give it giggsey for the reason of the season”

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