UWMCC vs Pak Stars

A team of Bradshaw, Cooper, Kraus, Watts and Hall set off to the Coventry Indoor League under the watchful guidance of part-time bus driver Jewson. Perhaps Mr Jewson’s new found occupation explains his lack of telling Hall that he would be playing with an Incrediball, who turned up with his full kit bag. Upon arrival and wiping the frost off the floor of the hall, skipper Jewson won the toss and elected to bowl, post his detailed tactical discussion with Bradshaw on the way over to Coventry. Ed Cooper’s nagging accuracy and the self-proclaimed ‘cunning’ bowling of Bradshaw (who later claimed ‘he was moving it miles’) started things well for UWMCC, and wickets fell regularly for the opposition, Pak Stars (sounding like an ITV superhero children’s programme), especially with the introduction of Kraus to the attack, with a smart caught and bowled, along with a humiliating stumping for the opposition batsman, taken emphatically (the stumps were approximately three metres down the pitch as a consequence) by stand-in wicketkeeper Watts. Even despite the one over of Jewson, Pak Stars could only manage 78 all out, most of their batsman playing too hard, not enough nudging and nurdling on show.

UWMCC’s response began well, the running of Watts and Hall providing some early impetus, despite the scratchiness of their batting. Nearing their fifty partnership, Watts was unluckily run out in a (I presume) sharp piece of fielding. This wicket sparked a collapse that even Andy Flower’s men would have been proud of. Hall ran out Bradshaw; unaware of whether the ball was in the bottom corner of the goal, or scrambling around the six yard box. Hall ‘ran out’ himself, though it was followed by six ‘third umpire’s’ applying to the centre the next day. After Jewson played a controversial leave (being hit almost on the shin) , Cooper ran out Jewson (perhaps as punishment for his leave) in what is known in the trade as ‘being sold down the river’, the anguish on Cooper’s face clear to see for all. Once Cooper had been cleaned up by a man in a beige polo shirt, it was all resting on Kraus’s shoulders, requiring 14 for victory. Kraus tickled a ball down to fine leg nicely, before playing a variety of shots, keeping his front leg well outside a two metre radius of the ball. Requiring 9 off 2 overs, Kraus’s sturdy defence did the job as Pak Stars’ average bowling continued to favour UWMCC, delivering two costly wide balls in the final over. Whilst Kraus was declared ‘a hero’ on UWMCC social mediums, extras will be fairly gutted to have missed out on such praise.

Returning victoriously to campus (without scorecard- hence partial haziness), Hall tried to lure Cooper to Kasbah on a fresh extravaganza by offering him an apple, Cooper controversially claiming that he doesn’t like apples, leaving Kraus to argue that apples are ‘the safest food around’. Wise words from Mr Kraus, to top off a fine day for the ‘snapchat extraordinaire’ as his Twitter bio once stated.

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