SU – fucking idiots, putting circle at 7pm
7pm Circle – catching everyone off guard
6pm – Tasty, still on the 17th at the Warwickshire, stuck behind an OAP fourball, making the realisation that he will not be making circle in time
OAPs – not realising the importance of the impending sesh
Econ – getting bummed by the final econ exam
Nick Hill – “I literally knew 0% of that paper”
PCP – building
Nish – turning up in a tshirt, being left high and dry by Adit who promised to deliver a shirt for him
Adit – deciding to get a haircut post exam, even though this guaranteed a late arrival
Murphy – turning up to PCP wearing stash, tour tie and already absolutely sent, having chugged his way through a bottle of champagne upon finishing his exams
Murphy – showing the sings of genuine unbearableness
Murmurs – still discussing the Choppy adultery story, “So let me get this right, you knew she had a boyfriend?”
Tasty – employing Gemes to set up circle in his absence, having to drive on to have any chance of making it in time, hoping to avoid a parking fine
Goodyear – agreeing to help Gemes, leaving for setup nice and early
UWMCC – eventually joining the hordes of sesh fiends in the queue downstairs, only to find Goodyear still outside
Goodyear – being made to look a whopper by the SU IT system, his ticket purchase not going through
Operation Sneaky Sneaky – already pre-planned in order to get Tasty’s mate from home in, now officially in play
Ellie – the main agent of Operation Sneaky Sneaky, beginning to put the pieces into place for Goodyear’s entry.
Meanwhile – circle taking nice shape, Gemes doing a sound job
Bin – still of the new smaller and heavier style, providing real issues for PLD
Ellie – telling Cricket in confidence that Somersby was in short supply
Standard order – becoming 9 pints of purple
UWMCC – restless, eager to get the first large circle in 4 weeks going
Tables – banging
Voices – shouting
Murphy – unbearable
Circle – back in business
GENTLEMENNNN!!!! – large
Murphy – made to wack for every item of stash being worn
Murphy – surprisingly only doubling, his stash and smart shoes combo saving him from any further punishment
Other punishments – dished out to the likes of Rooty and Gemes for lateness and incorrect clothing
MOTW – plenty of nominations
Gemes – nominated for playing 6 hours of Don Bradman cricket in the den by himself as Australia and managing to lose both the Ashes and a test series to Zimbabwe 2-0
Bexson – nominated for having teas before the opposition at the game earlier in the week, a truly shit bloke
Murphy – nominated for wearing stash
Cheers – equally loud for both Bex and Murphy but somehow Gemes being forced to also join the 3 way wack off
Back a winner – most going for Bex
Most – correct
Murphy – the overall loser, being forced to do yet another pint as well as don the dress
Murphy – putting it on over his head, “It’s a poncho”
Circle – in uproar, telling him to “wear it like a fucking bint”
Bints – are people too
Purple – tasting good after such a long absence
Gamble – Howard – Swap shirt to your left
TAH – having to give his shirt up to Howard
New game – 20 + 1
Operation Sneaky Sneaky – springing into operation, Ellie distracting the toilet steward
Goodyear – arriving into circle, having descended from the Dirty Duck staircase
Goodyear – wacking his pint for being late to the tune of Harry Potter
Circle – well and truly ready for games
20+1 – getting the traditional table wacking rule from Bex, fuelling the Bexson is a cunt chant even more
Game – getting complicated once 1-10 and double digit numbers are swapped, i.e. 13 becoming 31
20+1 – not reaching completion again
Table wacking – fucking up Bexson’s table especially (karma), Gemes having a particularly heavy start
New game – Premier league darts
Gamble – Social Sec 1 minute challenge
Targets – Tasty and Larkins the obvious ones, with Curtis and Adit also being included
Bexson – unveiling that Georgia was Chem soc social sec
Tasty – deciding that Bozza and Georgia are the same person, adding Bozza to the challenge
1 minute – due for completion once Larks and Bozza returned form band practice
PLD – games being a lot closer due to the smaller bin size, with 1-0 a common scoreline
Bexson – pleased to find his team winning, not able to sink anymore pints
New game – Face down eyes up
Gamble – Turner – nominate wacks for items of clothing removed
Turner – giving it the full monty, stripping down to his tie and boxers and parading around the middle of circle
Rig – decent
FDEU – pretty standard, with Randall being targeted for one of the rounds yet managing to somehow still avoid everyone
1st session – heavy
Recess – called
1st Recess
Recess – lengthier than usual, giving people the chance to recover
Recovery – essential for Gemes, found napping in the corner for the entirety
Murphy – also in trouble
Choppy – struggling to control his anger, wanting to kill Murphy after only 1 session
2nd session – eventually back in order
Murphy – purposely dangerchairing himself before being taunted by Men’s Hockey, “you fat bastard”
Gamble – Super Gamble – Howard – Create a 4 man chain
Howard – giving the infinite power to chain 4 men
Chain – Rooty, J$, TAH and Gujar
J$ – happy to be chained
Guj – visibly less so
New game – Kraus’s Cricket
Boundaries – as usual, with less than 50 being a double for everyone
UWMCC – eventually all out for 88, giving all losers, and those in the chain (due to Gujar’s mistake) a double
New game – ICICN
Gamble – Randall Powerplay
Tasty – retreating to the sidelines whilst our potential Social sec steps into the arena
Gentlemen!! – responding well for Randall
Gamble – Tasty desperate to get one and Randall obliging… of course yes
Gamble – The Slenderman
Tasty – stepping into the ring with Turner, ready to lose his anal virginity to the slenderman himself
Jaws – a genuinely terrifying song when the Slenderman is standing behind you
Randall – deciding that he needed a wee and therefore conducting the shortest powerplay known to man… one measely game of ICICN
ICICN – seemingly Harry Potter themed this week, with spells and characters the first two characters
Merriman – struggling with 12 characters
Roachy – eventually losing his cool, “There are 8 fucking Weasleys you idiot”
Randall – calling recess and running to the toilet
Circle – not happy with this decision
Tasty – back into the middle and commencing 3rd session immediately
Murphy – by this point off his rocker, J$ taking it upon himself to remove him from circle and give him 1 to 1 attention
Gamble – Jack Mallows – the floor is lava
Jack – giving the ability to shout the floor is lava at any point and last person to get off the floor loses
Jack – immediately shouting
UWMCC – surprisingly inventive ways to get off the ground, Tasty attempting to balance on the fallen bin
New game – Reverse Sherwin Ball
RSB – literally getting nowhere, with numbers being repeated constantly
Sesh levels – already high enough it seems
Bexson – committing to the number 15 no matter what happens
Goodyear – obviously stitching Bex
New game – 1FF
Gamble – Slip Cordon
Kinners – a left handed batsmen, stitching the likes of Guj, Nish and Curtis
Curtis – running away as soon as he sees the gamble
Randall – having to take his place at 3rd slip
Curtis – suitably punished upon his return
1FF – once again poorly played
Tasty era – not conducive to a good game of 1FF
New game – Speed 20+1
Gamble – Bozza – Double Golden Ticket
Groans – audible
Pints – beginning to run low and circle already becoming micro circle
Tasty – eventually packing in but Roachy reluctant to end it
Roachy – becoming social sec and gambling himself
Gamble – Wear Bozza’s shorts to next week’s circle
Roachy – wishing that he didn’t gamble now
Circle – over
POP! – just beginning
POP!
Megamix – non existant
Cricket – once again securing the front as we do week in and week out
Tasty’s mates – lost from the get go, Tasty doing lap after lap to find them
Location – eventually discovered, them leaving to go to T-bar, not realising they wouldn’t be able to get back in
Tim – stealing a massive fucking beret and wearing it all night long
Gemes – losing his shirt and having to wear a flag instead
Murphy – making the kind of recovery that myths are based on, seen powering on at the front of POP, despite being on deaths door 30 minutes prior
Wellbeing stand – once again dominated by the UWMCC boys
Roachy – lobbing tampons at random girls
Tasty – finding out he is in with a real shout of a threesome, quickly ditching the boys from home, thinking purely with his penis
Threesome – an eventual myth (how disappointing)
Randall – leaving POP at 1:15 stating he had an essay to finish, despite sashing for the prior 5 hours
Disco dave – putting on some EDM classics at 1am, what a hero
Luther – still not being played, despite being retweeted by Dave every fucking week
Roachy – trying to get with a girl and eventually succeeding
Someone – filming it
Girl – crying
Roachy – making girls cry since day 1
Choppy – seen lurking under the stair with a different girl this week
Girl – more than likely to have a boyfriend
Week 8 – slowly coming to a close
Memories – of Goodyear blitzing it home during week 1 POP, eventually swaying Tasty’s decision to take the bus
Bexson – being called out on the U1 by a random for dying his hair
Bexson – close to losing his cool, kindly telling the bloke it’s untrue
Bloke – “my mate just doesn’t believe you”
Bex – “then tell your mate to get fucked”
Bloke – “he said to get fucked”
Other bloke – “fair enough”
Boys – once again safely back in Leamington
POP – only two weeks left
Two weeks – plenty of time to do some damage