The Return – happening
Randall – much like Jesus, resurrected from his SU ban and bouncing off every wall in excitement for the impending sesh
Handover Exec meeting – long although fruitful as the new and old exec both agree that Neuer isn’t as good with his feet as first thought
South Korea – going all Southern Jono after 5 pints and dicking Germany
Southern Korea – banishing Germany for good and taking sweet revenge for WW2 atrocities
Clubwide PCD – go
Many – savouring their last chicken inferno of their uni careers
Roche – still reading down the menu looking for the Yorkshire Pud
Kinners – any?
Owen – creating a ‘to do’ list for his first circle
Send murphy – tick
Timmo – off to RGS to buy some chilli powder and throwing sweets
Pool Tables – taken over by UWMCC as Owen prepares for his first proper table bitching
SU – still trying their best to kim any sesh hungry clubmen with many not allowed upstairs due to eating at warwick problems
Problems – also chair related
SU – finally allowing the mass of circlers upstairs
Randall – leading the pack as he stumbles up nearly every step until he returns to find the hallowed turf
Turf – still sticky and chunder smelling, just as we like it
Circle – quickly settling down in order to make the most of the last big sesh of the year
GENTLEMEN! – so big that Lacrosse had to restart their circle
UWMCC – moral victory
Wooo’s – never ending as some clubmen actually have a couple of pints while the woo’s go on
Randall – finally deciding that enough is enough as the next woo is threatened with a triple
Ferdi – about to unleash before deciding against
Chains – explained as many fresh regret running
D Lewis – eyeing up the biggest chain of the night
Randall – also deciding that Millman will be punished for phone in circle with a shot of vodka every time he is caught
Millman – nervously putting his phone away
MOTW – a good few
Owen – nominated for his Max Verstappen-esque driving ability. After a long and tiring club day, Owen decides to celebrate by driving himself and the other Sherbourners back home. The car park is empty, but that doesn’t stop Owen ‘yeeting’ his car into a pole and causing £450 of damage.
Memories – priceless
Rav – nominated for riding the Chong Express on a one way ticket to Owens. After a heavy Kasbah on Monday, One Beer Rav decides to try his luck with a certain member of ladies hockey and the pair end up at the newly founded (although probably been there for a number of centuries) Windmill Hill
Windmill Hill – commonly mistaken by Tasty and Jarris as Table Mountain
Rav – not windmilling on windmill hill
Chong – deciding to take Rav back to Sherbourne but not for anything more than dropping him off at Owens after realising that little Rav must have had a couple of beers as he is struggling
Rav – should have windmilled on windmill hill
Louie – nominated for Brighton whoppery
Brighton – becoming a common place for UWMCC MOTW stories
Louie – attending a 21st with many clubmen in the south and upon finding himself in Revs with the boys a lovely lady approaches the group
Choppy – not using the word ‘lovely’ to describe said female but I’m sure she was
Lou – getting protective of the boys and decides to usher the lady away in any way he can
Getting with the lady – not the way most people would go about it, but that’s Louie I guess
Lou – making her cry as she wonders what could have been as Lou then proceeds to reject her for the rest of the evening, resulting in the group having a crying, angry and horny middle aged woman following them around for the foreseeable future
Lou – claiming MOTW with ease as he dons the dress for the final time
Louie – also wearing shorts and flip-flops so tripling at the start of circle
Ollie Carter – deciding that after missing 107 consecutive circles, his 108th would be his first
New Game – 20+1
Gamble (Northern Jono) – Jamie Vardy’s having a party
NJono – 3 VK’s and a shot of voddy please sir
NJono – officially using up the final remainder of his overdraft on sesh as he struggles through the challenge
20+1 – comleted first run through with Timmo adding table wacking to chains to create much pain and suffering
Other Rules – multiples of 6 are clubmen to lose at elections
Roche – allowed as many times as he lost elections
Roche – more lost than Maddie with 5 losses
Krish – introducing a ‘chains are reversed’ rule giving power to the newly elected fresh
Clubmen – sent and happy about it
New Game – PLD
Gamble (Choppy) – Rainbow Cordon
Timmo – 1 VK
Owen – 2 VK’s
Who else but Northern Jono – 3 more VK’s
NJono – be seeing you pal
The challenge – fine for some, not for others
Others – unsurprisingly Jono as he makes his way to the toilet after 1.5 VK’s and doesn’t return for most of the session
PLD – standards higher than ever with the ‘miss the bin and wack’ rule enforced while Randall was away
Scores – high with Turner’s team schlotting a 180 up top
Ballo – begging for a pint from Turners 180
Turner – obliging
Ballo – standing up and laughing as he catches Turner in a 4’s Captain Chain
Turner – gutted at the betrayal
Disco Pru – genuinely making Mezza look quick as he is overtaken by 3 drinkers to lose on speed
Dan – informing Randall that he prefers it when PLD is played by teams on opposite sides of circle as opposed to next to each other
Randall – apologetically selecting teams from across circle in the next round as Choppy takes the PLD chant into hyperspace
New Game – DDM
Gamble (Sash) – Lager Session
Smash – emotional
DDM – throwing up some surprises as many wack offs are completed in a short space of time
Ridge – completely catching Randall off guard and nearly beating him
VAR – proving inconclusive
Kumar – rocking and rolling on DRS and finding that Randall did indeed win
Ridge – wasted review
Randall’s Reign – coming to an emotional end as he calls his final recess and bows out of circle

Random Bloke – sprinting around circle and spewing all over the door to the toilets
UWMCC – pointing the bouncer to the correct cubicle in an attempt to continue to rebuild SU relations
Temptation – to send them to Turner in the other cubicle
Owen – nervously going for one last chunder before taking the reigns
Randall – soaking up the love from his fellow clubman before rushing to buy multiple pints
Eating at Warwick – still proving a problem upstairs
Randall & Timmo – begin the project of reinstating the corner
Rumours: New first session 6 pint buy in rule to be introduced
Incoming fresh – will need to be sensible when picking a seat in week 1
Thor – sending everyone back to circle with an almighty roar
Local children – disturbed.

2nd session:
Gentlemen – Absolutely huge, Randall and Owen milking it for everything it has
Clubman’s tonsils – Milked raw like a cow’s udder
Super gamble – Amy Winehouse memorial wack (Murphy)
Murphy – Clearly desperate to spice up his life as this is his second super gamble in the post exam period
The Amy Winehouse memorial – A small bottle of the SU’s finest rose, double vodka shot and a coke wack.
SU – As useful as a chocolate teapot/nun in a brothel etc. with upstairs bar not accepting eating@warwick
Murphy – Sent downstairs to collect his supergamble beverages
New game – Mexican wack off
Owen – Keen to make a good impression and get everyone drinking early doors
Owen – In trying to make a good impression, instead makes a bad one by picking a game which isn’t a game
Miss the bin and go again rule – deployed
Clubman – Desperate to kim Merriman
Merriman – Surviving the game rather comfortably
Ollie Carter – The loser on his circle debut
Carter – Confused as to why he has lost
Carter – Accepting punishment anyway
New game – ICICN
Gamble – Gambler double vs Merriman single (Choppy)
Choppy – Must complete two pints before Merriman does a solitary wack
Back a winner – In play
Circle – Firmly plumping behind Merriman
Merriman – a true leader of men
Result – Merriman completes his pint while Choppy has only just started to eat his second
Circle – Joyous
Merriman – Downbeat as ever
Those foolish enough to back Choppy – Taking punishment
ICICN’s – Including people to have run circle / Clubmen with more BUCS runs than Amogh
Randall – Despite starting to enter the deepsesh truly for the first time on a Wednesday for a year manages to name 43 batsmen with more runs
Target – 44
Randall – heartbroken
Circle – Enjoying the schadenfreude (Cya Germany BTW)
New game – 20+Choppy
Gamble – Presidents Choice (Murphy)
D.Lewis – Able to choose Murphys gamble as outgoing pres
D.Lewis – Wastes no time in singing ‘Double gamble wack’
Murphy – Protesting before obliging
New gamble – Rock the Kasbah (Murphy)
Premise – With Kasbah closing, albeit for a refit, anyone who attended the mecca of Coventry based sesh on Monday night shall wack in memory
Freshers – Kimmed
20+Choppy – problematic
Suchin/Pru/Numerous others – Clearly not knowing this cornerstone of UWMCC song writing
Owen – Sensing danger as unrest begins to spread
Krishan – Chundering over Rory
Rory – reacting calmly
Sash – Hysterical with laughter
Rory – Great bloke
Shouts for Kraus – Justified
Shouts for Boz – Non-existent
Recess – Called

3rd session – The true test for any social sec
Rogueness – Undoubtedly peaks at 10pm
Gentlemen – Special leavers edition
Tables – Put under extreme duress by the fists and palms of the leavers
New game – Kraus’ Cricket
Gamble – Leavers one min challenge (Nik Hill)
Corner table – Collapses at the news
Pints – Flying everywhere
One min challenge – Delayed accordingly
UWMCC – Finding the time for one last batting collapse
55 AO – A truly woeful score
The fallen men – doubling accordingly
New game – One Fat Frog
Kinners – Eager to warn Owen that the old school alternative version cannot be tolerated
Female sabbatical officers – ever present
Cricket – Still under the microscope
Gamble – Double Gamble Wack (Southern Jono)
SJ – Demolishes his first pint at impressive speed before barely choking down number 2
Gamble – Freshers 1 min challenge
Birdy – outraged
1 min challenges – to be undertaken at the same time, resulting in an almost club wide challenge
2nd years – Any of?
Target – 52
Score – 56
D.Lewis – Given 4 to nominate
D.Lewis – Sends 2 to Murphy as well as the standard one that goes to Merriman and another that was sent to Carter
Murphy – ‘Dan why do you hate me’
D.Lewis – ‘That hair-do mostly’
Sesh – Taking hold big time
One fat frog – A non-starter
Carnage – Beginning to ensue
Chairs – thrown
D. Lewis – Hitting Owen with a chair
D.Lewis – apologising immediately via Facebook messenger
Message of apology – the presidential touch
Order – needs to be restored
Speed 20+1 – Brought in to save the day
Wack and Leave – Enforced
New game – Speed 20+1
Gamble – Unknown as Randall eats the paper
Northern Jono – Saved
Speed 20+1 – A calming influence on clubmen
Curtis – The eventual winner
Megamix – Calling
Owen – Relieved to be finished for the night
The deepsesh – A minimal at this point for clubmen with many in oversesh

Megamix – Huge, with Angels, Chicago, Backstreet Boys and Jerusalem all making an appearance
Rav – Bounding off to the smoking area immediately
Rav – willing to sell himself for a cigarette
Rav – Also willing to sell his body to Chong
Jono’s – Both Southern and Northern embroiled in deep discussions with a flatmate
Flatmate – well known amongst clubmen
Resolution to deep discussions – unknown
Groups anger at being disturbed by Amogh asking for a ciggy – clear
Randall – Back on his perch in rouge
Randall – In his happy place
Choppy and Roach – Seen to be engaging with yet more rogue odds on with Hockey girls
Club relations – Recovering nicely
The final half hour of Pop! – Approaching ominously
Clubman – Migrating to front left
Turner/Timmo/Thor – leaving to chop their missus’
Club spirit – Any?
Disco Dave – Delivering emotional bangers on repeat
Clubman – welling up
Sophia Abbasi – Already in floods of tears
Sash – showing some sympathy
Family photo opportunity – Not quite
Rory – Taking a photo anyway
Photo – A real gem that undoubtedly belongs above the Abbasi fireplace
Pop! – Coming to an end
Clubmen – Frozen unable to pull themselves away from the hallowed turf of the copper rooms
UWMCC – Eventually relocate to the Piazza
Piazza megamix – Huge
Tasty – Arriving on the scene
Goodbyes – emotional
Tears – aplenty
Randall/Birdy – both almost inconsolable
The club – Drunk and emotional
Rav – Simultaneously sad and horny
Roach – Crying and laughing in equal measure
Fresh – beginning to realise just how many fresh they need to recruit next year
Challenge – accepted
Club – will never die
UWMCC – Eternal
Football – Coming home.

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