Term 1 President’s Report:
Following a badly impacted academic year because of COVID, UWMCC had to make up for lost time as university life returned to some form of normality for the first time since my freshers’ year. Despite a full cricket season last year, which had some extreme highs such as Sachin’s 100 and the 1s win away at Loughborough (and some lows, but we won’t talk about them *cough* Nottingham Trent away), many had never experienced a COVID-free UWMCC. Therefore, it was a step into the unknown for most clubmen and a relatively inexperienced exec that had to contend with the heavily anticipated return of Pop, Cricket Ball and the apparent “death of the club” according to Patient.

The year proceeded as normal with the annual Sports Fair, Sports Day and Exec Meet and Greet during Freshers week. On the Wednesday, Archie organised a Meet the Exec at Fusion, which got off to the most typical UWMCC start as we turned up and Fusion was closed. Nevertheless, the meet was a huge success as around 30/40 freshers turned up to ask questions and get involved in the club. The next day we had the annual Sports Fair in the Piazza, which as you can imagine, being in late September, was very wet. Once again, the day got off to a typical UWMCC start as Ralli realised he had misspelt “calendar” on the 200 flyers he had ordered. However, despite being slaughtered by freshers for the lack of decoration on our stall, we still attracted a large number, primarily because we were pelting balls across the Piazza from our 1h 1b game. Likewise, Sports Day attracted a high turnout as new Club Captain Tanmay had to organise a 1h 1b game for potentially up to 100 people.
Consequently, as term was set to begin, the club looked to be in a great position, with some strong planning in the summer from the whole exec meaning that we came into term fully prepared with Cricket Ball booked, FPL underway and international tour looking set to go ahead (famous last words).
On the Pitch
On the pitch, we continue to dominate as UWMCCFC enter the winter break top of the Saturday league. Led brilliantly by Tadams (often from the bench), the team is marked by fresher Cooper’s dominance in the centre of the park, fresher Will and Rogers’ steady hands in goal and an inability to put the ball in the back of the net by yours truly. Moreover, Ralli’s much anticipated post-match social media posts have resulted in a cult-like following of Neil Warnock emerging as cries of “enjoy it by being disciplined in here” can be heard every 5 minutes, regardless of the occasion. The success of the football team has led to rumours of a potential exec call up for Tadams but only time will tell…
Regarding our primary sport, we remain bang average. Led by Tanmay and Eitan, the indoor team travelled to Edgbaston on two occasions (both conveniently after heavy nights out). The first round of fixtures saw fresher Cooper star with the bat as we beat Staffordshire but lost out to strong Loughborough teams. The second round of fixtures got off to a great start with Eitan being 1hr 30mins late after mistaking the meet point. Moreover, the makeshift team we were able to put out due to an incomprehensible amount of unavailability, were demolished by Cov so the less said about the day, the better.

The tasters and trials process ran smoothly with no texts from parents being needed this year. Unfortunately, one casualty of COVID, was the Cov indoor league with attempts by Gen Sec Rishi coming to no fruition, meaning that Ridge’s legacy sadly no longer lives on. Regardless, the dev squad remains a vital part of the club, not without its struggles as we currently have 3 hours’ worth of nets to split between 140 development players, resulting in the creation of a Devs A and Devs B squad. (I’m guessing they play rounders at Devs B training?)
The performance squad continue to wake up early on Monday mornings to run about a sports hall and question whether it’s all worth it. Marked by terrible tunes, a lack of form and Olly Ward, well just being Olly Ward, the squad has been joined by quite a few freshers as the weeks have progressed, demonstrating the high standard at the club this year (or the terrible standard of the older years?) From the wheels of fresher Aditya and tweakers of fresher Aarav to the Alex Careyness of Fresher Kabir, these lads will hopefully carry the torch of the performance squad once the old shblokes like myself have left.
Finally, whilst on the topic of cricket guys, a very important message from Tanmay about the dangers of snow this winter, so make sure to ask fellow club men for a lift instead of risking your life attempting to get the bus.
Socials
This term, we have been spoilt for choice for socials largely thanks to the brilliant work of social sec Archie. However, to carry on the most UWMCC start to a year ever, Archie could not make the first circle due to a fieldtrip to Wales (forgot we are in Year 6), meaning that myself, Stewart, and Rogers took the reins for the return to CR2. What followed was absolute chaos as it soon became apparent that none of us could run a good circle and that the second years were shambolic at remembering the games. The night can be summed up perfectly by Dan Tennant correctly working out that 20+1=21, which is brilliant when doing your SATS, less useful for a Wednesday night in CR2. Luckily, order was restored the following week as Archie returned, since delivering some of the heaviest circles known to man, with nukes being more common than a North Korean testing site.

The return of Skool Dayz saw our first alumni event of the year and a joint circle with the Women’s Club later in the term. It was great to see some old friends but most notably, the return of the Spiderman Challenge, brilliantly done by club fresher Nathan and the introduction of a new favourite – the American Airlift. Circling, also saw the annual Cheeky Fresh return in all its glory, this year organised by Rogers. Fresher Sam was the winner, the CR2 toilets the loser, resulting in myself having to spend the night pleading with Mark not to ban us for W10. As reward, fresher Sam ran the 3rd session, instantly starting with a call of “who wants to… triple” (much to the dismay of Clarkey) proving he was a worthy winner.
In Week 3 we returned to the Millennium Balti for our termly club meal with Dallmeyer handling the uberphile with ease. However, there was some confusion as the fresh randomly turned up with a show and tell item despite not being asked to, resulting in fresher Raag bringing a crate full of protein power with him from campus. In addition, we held bar crawls with CMD and hockey, with costume themes insinuating that Archie enjoys seeing us all dressed up as women. Both nights were heavy, but the hockey bar crawl appeared to finish off a few as fresher Kam, amazing at winning bets, appeared less successful at keeping his sick off the staircase in Kelsey’s.

At the end of reading week, we hosted the annual Cricket Ball with ex-England (and Pudsey Congs) fast bowler Mathew Hoggard guest speaker. The highlight of the night undoubtedly being when he smashed Parth in a pint race. Overall, it was a great weekend for all involved as many of the old boys came back alongside the women’s club for the hotly anticipated event at Victoria House. Weirdly enough though, most of the action occurred on the stairs up to Essex’s flat…
Despite all the successes on the social side, there were some failures. The UWMCC golf day was going amazingly thanks to 00George, until it smashed it down and play was abandoned after 6 holes. Moreover, we planned on going to Manchester for domestic tour at the end of Term 1, until it went down the drain once the scale of organising it soon became apparent. Let’s hope there are better omens for our international tour.

Charities and Welfare
The club once again prides itself on our charity work, support of the local community and ensuring the welfare of our members. We raised a record amount for Movember with £2618, helped significantly by the brilliant efforts of fresher Akaash. The pot was also aided heavily by the charity circle, in which clubmen donated over £200 to charity (and to see some lads attempt to drink their 10 donated pints). Additionally, we have chosen Papyrus as our primary charity for the year, starting things off with an FPL league that has seen over 40 alumni and clubmen join.
Once again, the club partook in the annual CMD Dance for Sports Relief. Attempting to defend our crown, 14 clubmen held daily rehearsals for 3 weeks as we attempted to make up for Rishi’s lack of rhythm, Nathan’s struggles with the Charleston and an overall lack of ability on the dancefloor that we somehow managed to hide at front left every week. Creating an amazingly choreographed routine that was performed perfectly on the night, it’s safe to say this was the biggest robbery since the 3s loss’ to Birmingham last year.

Regarding welfare, Patient has done a brilliant job in organising some outside speakers to give talks to the lads on various important issues. We held a talk from Oddballs regarding testicular cancer whilst also holding a university led talk on consent as the club strives to achieve Report and Support Accreditation. Moreover, the club has stood up for social issues as we partook in the boycott of nightclubs in late October in response to the increased amount of drink spiking.
Sponsors
We have negotiated an increased sponsorship amount from Shire Grill, ensuring that the meat sizzlers are here to stay in UWMCC tradition. As a part of my manifesto last year, I promised to introduce player sponsorships for performance squad players which will be used to fund 1st XI fixtures to be played at Kenilworth Wardens CC. This should hopefully be part of a larger agreement with Kenilworth, where we will pay a reduced fee for playing matches at their ground in return for promoting the club to those lads who stay on campus during the summer term. This will hopefully start the transition of the club away from the “road” that is Cryfield as we recently found out we will only have one pitch available due to the Commonwealth Games. Thanks Warwick Sport.

Next Term
The new year marks an exciting time to be part of UWMCC for our 200 members. Stash should come, we have our annual 1h 1b in the piazza and international tour to Barbados in March (again famous last words). We will be looking to increase our charity work, with the traditional half marathon in April and looking into coaching with local primary schools. Additionally, we have talks from outside speakers such as Opening Up Cricket lined up. Most importantly, we must avenge the defeat to Coventry 2 years ago when we face them in Varsity once again.
An exciting time for the club but still some questions remain… Has Kam Sidhu ever lost a bet? Will Essex and I ever stay until the end of Pop? Will Shiv ever see his Freshermon dream fulfilled? Will anyone see Olly Stewart again now that he has found love?
Only time will tell, but what is for sure is that the club is in a great position going into Term 2 and I cannot wait to see what it has to offer. That’s all for now. On behalf of UWMCC, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Thanks,
Josh
