Form Corner, the morning after.

Mupdates, Week 2 Term 1 – “Who are you? Why don’t you fuck off?”

Mupdates – Back

Mupdates – Will be better next week

Archie – Bad at writing Mupdates


Meetings – 2 too many

Tanmay – Late

Exec – Half missing

Gerard – Authoritarian

Gerard – Loves himself

Freshers – Keen for tour presentation

Way – too many of them

Price – Unknown

Price – Fucking spenny

Worth – it

Laurie – Forgot to record it

Archie – Is happy to expose him

Josh – add it to exec punishments

PCP + Tables

Carling – tastes like shit

Purple – was a rouge choice by some

Tom – Fucking good at pool

Tom – Had Alfie’s pants down

Randall – Has done that anyway

Gambles – Written

Archie – Bricking it

Olly – Entrusted with the dress

Olly – left the dress

Archie – didn’t want to wear it anyway

Olly and Harry – Table bitches

Jimmy – Missing

The lads – Missing jimmy

Bouncers – Didn’t like us

Us – Shit scared

Bouncer – Watching over our circle

Reputation – Tarnished

Boxers – Ruined

Purple – Smelt

Smelt – Gorgeous

Staff – Untrained

Update – Archie still bricking it

Hockey Lads – Wankers

Shit – Blokes

Sh – club

Boat Race – Time arranged

Confidence – High

Tables – Fucking easy

Golf – Tables taken

Archie – Lied to their faces

Golf – None the wiser

George – Don’t tell them

Some Prick – Tried to take a table

Get – Fucked

Bin – Secured

Tables – Dangerous

Bricking it – Archie

8 – o’clock

Lads – Arrived

Purple – Poured

Poured – Fucking slowly

Gone – Eating at Warwick

Price – Increased

Laurie – Livid

Circle – Session 1

Freshers – Mixed in

Essex – Not happy about it

Archie – Fidel

Time – 8:20

Get on – With it

Tables – Smacked

Screams – Heard

Gentle – men

Woos – Wooed

Everyone else – Staring in awe

Us – Fucking great blokes

Uniform – Plenty

Archie – Disappointed

Trainers – Loads of them

1, 2 – 3, 4, 5

Muppet – of the week

Dress – Somewhere in T-Bar

Archie – nominated for being in wales instead of CR2 in Week 1

Sheeps – Shagged

Rishi – Nominated for starting too many scraps

Rishi – Single

Archie – Double

Archie – Out of practice

Archie – Lost pretty badly

Happy – To not be wearing the dress

Ay up – me duck

New – Game

What – do we do before we play a new game?

G – amble

Gamble – F1M

Archie – Forgot who pulled it out the pot

Told you – I was bad at writing Mupdates

New Game – 20+1

Dan Tennant – Picked on

Sadly – He has learnt how to start a game now

20+1 = 21

Actually – Got to 21 on the first try

Archie – Was surprised

New rule – Course Chains

Economics – Very popular

Wacking – Half the circle

Single Numbers – Said 4 times

Courses – Morse, Biology, Politics, Economics

Economics Lads – Heartbroken

Wacking – 3/4 of the circle

Archie – Must be doing something right

Fresher Will – Thought 1 came after 6

Fresher Will – Is a fucking idiot

Love – him really

Fresh Coma Patient – Has fallen asleep

Fidel – Not having it

Scared – Of the bouncer watching us

Next Gamble – At the races

Half the Circle – Wacking again

Pints – Refilled

New Game – Redacted Splat

Olly – Fucking ruthless, destroyed a fresh out the gate

Rudy – Destroyed a fresh also

Laurie – Same fresh later on

Rudy – Bored and wanted more

Not – Surprised

Rudy – Subbed in for the fresh that was losing

Great – Bloke

Soberman – Eitan

Mistaken – For a roided toddler

Purple – Would’ve disappeared faster if it was left to evaporate

Eitan vs Fresh – mexican wack off

Mountains – Have moved quicker

Why – did people back eitan

What – did you expect

Wacking – 90% of the Circle


Called – very Early

Tables – looked empty of pints

Archie – Checked with bouncer we weren’t breaking the rules

Bouncer – Couldn’t give less of a shit

Archie – Convinced they mixed us up with hockey last week

Archie – Furiously writing some notes for mupdates

Not – That it helped

This is shit – I’m aware

Session 2

Gamble – Super

00 – Lightning arm thrown forward

Nominate – Uberphaal

Club Meal – Next week

Tom Dallmeyer – Whispering sweet nothings into 00’s ear

Fresher coma patient – Dallmy’s target

00 – What a man

Nominated – Dallmy

Cheers – Massive

Cunt – What a

New Game – BBW

Freshers – Figure it out already

Olly – “Embaraazzing”

Rogers – Got it wrong

I love you – Baby

Sharky – Would’ve been so proud

Circle- belting it out

Was – Glorious

Gamble – Forgot what it was

Darts – Was the new game

Bin – Not hit

Misses – many

Pints – Many

3 – Max hit by any team

Cricket – We shouldn’t be playing it at this rate

Gamble – Haven’t a clue, will write them down straight away next time

New Game – Fielding drills

Rules – Not known, had to be explained many times

Rules – Now known

Confusion – Still not ended

Why? – Silly hockey fresh trying to get round the back of our circle

Olly – Roadblock

Boos – a’plenty

Roadblock – Was pretty shit, he gave up and the hockey fresh squeezed through

Essex – “Who are you? Why don’t you fuck off?”

Friendly – No

Fresh – Thought he had a massive cock

Fresh – Angry

Fresh – Tried to knock out Essex (reasonable)

Fresh – Held back

Fresh – Was a cunt

Cunt – he was

Archie – Called over our watchful bouncer

Bouncer – Now our mate, pinned him up against the wall

50 – shades of gray

Cunt – Wanted none of it, still wanted to scrap essex

Circle – started cheering

Archie – In fidel fashion, told everyone off as we didn’t want to get in the shit with mark again

Mark – Turned up

Circle – got on with the game as best as we could

Pints – Drunk

Bin – missed again

Olly and Laurie – Unbelievably bad at it

Cunt – Whisked away by mark and bouncer

Cheeri – o

Boat race – not happening anymore

Hockey – pulled out of it

Not – Shocked

Gamble – ?

New Game – Cricket

Rules – Not known

Score – 48 in good old Warwick Fashion

Doubles – Done

Session 3

New – Game

Reverse – Sherwin – Ball

Game – was a shambles

Noise – too much, couldn’t hear

Olly – Wanted to be the last man

Olly – Doubled

Eat – it

New Game – One Fat Frog

Again – Shambles

Fuck – that game

Alot – of drinking

Time – 10:35

Mini – Circle

Remaining – The good fellas, about 8

Game – 20+1 roman numerals

Jimmy – glad he wasnt there

Wack – and Leave

Fresher Coop – Impressive performance

Was it enough? – No

Fresher coop – Left

Rogers – winner


Megamix – Fucking Class

Bennett – Wasn’t there to mess it up

You are – My fire

Jeru – shalom

Rubs – Hunted

Eitan’s Housemate – Olly stewart

Scrapping – Eitan, probably

Archie – Missing his weekly vks with Jabez

Olly Stewart – Another one bites the dust

Queen – Cracking band

Holly – Had Olly on a lead

Olly – Wanted to propose again

Holly – Already has a boyfriend

Viallis – Were still bought for her by Olly

Harry Rogers – Doing Harry rogers things

Nuff – Said

Absolute – Mess

Ralli – Doing Ralli things

Nuff – Said

Mess – Absolutely

The story of the President, a tale of early nights, love and a lot of chun

Josh – Not my President

POP – He wasn’t enjoying it at all

Quote – “It’s shit now that I’m in a relationship”

Bus – Was there for the taking

Archie – Was too sober

Both left – Poor example from the senior clubmen

Josh – A load of waffle about how much he loves poppy, quite cute actually

My Heart – Warmed

Bus – At the church, the clean sound of a semi-hard liquid hitting the floor from a few feet off the ground rang in our ears

A state – Some random 2nd year behind us

Josh – “I’m so gonna chun”

Tachbrook Bus stop – He’s given up and the pressure has got to him, we make our way down the steps and out the bus so that Josh can chun

Chun – So fucking much of it, never seen anything like it

Poppy – Rang josh, has left her house to take him back

Josh and Poppy – Reunited once more, could’ve fooled me though. Look like fury vs wilder IV the way he was barging into her as they walked off, almost sent her to the floor

Stella – Possibly drunk

Archie – Full of sympathy for Poppy

Josh – Spewing all night supposedly

Well done lads x

Bring on club meal