Unfortunately, with a few scorecards lost, we have had to rely on Boeen’s encyclopaedic knowledge of who scored what:
38- Kraus, Hall
31- Big Tasty
What follows is a review by each group from Larkins, Clayden, Monk (who seems to be plugging a potential new film rather than a golf day review) and Yeti. Enjoy!
Group 1: Larko, Avery-Hickmott and Alex Rajakanthan
Being the first group to brave the horrendous weather – Avery, Rajakanthan and Larkins teed off to scenes of rapturous ambivalence. Alex’s surname did force the tee announcer to prove he was worth his salt. Avery was very consistent with his driver, hardly missing a fairway with the big stick. Larkins was more content to old-man his way around the course with a trusty five iron, whilst Alex was locked in a constant battle with his driver. The three scored heavily on the front nine, with pars aplenty. Avery’s consistent putting scored him many a point, despite an odd technique of contorting his body into a right-angle to putt. However, the deterioration of the weather was mirrored by the deterioration of the quality of golf on show by the trio on the back nine. Alex’s newly acquired set of balls were fertilising the bushes and forests of Stonebrigde. Larkins was delighted to dig out a gun Pro V1 ball from the depths of his bag only to snap hook it into a family gathering of squirrels. The group ended with their points totals hovering in the low twenties – however, the day ended on a positive note with Alex carding three points on the final hole. A hot chocolate and trenchfoot well earned.
Group 2: Kraus, Clayden and Boeen
The second group to tee off on this not-so-fine Stonebridge morning consisted of a much improved Boeen Ali, perennial Wack Shack whipping boy (and occasional President) Kraus, and fellow shackman Clayden. Nerves were palpable around the breakfast table after Boeen was denied a look-in at the leftover sausages by a ravenous Goodyear. The dragon does not forget, no matter what power list you’re on.
Taking his vigour out onto the course, Boeen only got better as the round went on. One highlight on the 5th was a delightful 6 iron into the green from some thick rough, after his tee shot had suspiciously headed the way of our first team captain on the adjacent fairway. A few strokes of bad luck, which saw some scintillating strikes find troubled waters, were ultimately detrimental to the Welshman’s title ambitions. Nonetheless, a commendable 27 stableford points saw him escape punishment at circle, and slot nicely into the UWMCC chasing peloton.
Meanwhile, Kraus and Clayds became embroiled in a cagey mini battle to lead the group, constantly staying in touching distance and eyeing up a high overall finish. Kraus’ positive start only got better with a 3 on the par four 4th, sinking an outrageous putt to get up and down from 150 yards out. Proudly declared as ‘my favourite golfing hole ever’, el Presidente plowed ahead to post a 16 point front nine. Clayds kept in touch with a 2 on the par 3 6th, lamenting the lack of a nearest the pin contest after a gun 5 iron.
However, the notorious Bedford Bandit made the most of his dubious 24 handicap to finish strong and wind up with 37 points – good enough for a share of 3rd place. An extraordinary par on the last was the highlight, skimming his ball across the lake to create a nice angle into the green. 34 points was all Clayds could manage in response, the putter leaving a few points out on the course.
Group 3: Goodyear, Hall, Teds and Monk
No country for old bandits: The line-up of Hall, Goodyear, Edmonds and Monk started slow with some absolutely awful golf. The first hole was almost played with the ball never leaving the ground. But with time, the bandits came out to play as Hall and Edmonds led the charge. The 10th hole so the lake catch 3, one off Good year, 2 off Monk. Goodyear then continued to play some respectable holes whilst Monk was a complete disaster from there on. To conclude the day, banditry came out to play with Hall and Edmonds easily scraping some 4 pointers in some terrible conditions and for some it was a round to forget.
Group 4: Bexson, Yeti, Big Tasty and Jezza Roche
The final group of the day consisted of Bexson, Yeti, Tasty and Jeremy Roche. After the group chose to take the alternative route around the course Yeti got out of the blocks very quickly and scored heavily on the front 9, but just when dreams of a second golf day victory were being formed a combination of fatigue, bad weather and a general headsgone scuppered his chances. Big Tasty played erratically throughout, drilling irons into the heart of many greens to let himself down with his big stick and putter. To put it kindly Roche made up the numbers, resembling Mother Theresa due to the towel around his head in his efforts to remain dry. However many airshots and a persistent desire to become Happy Gilmore ensured that the groups spirits remained high and Jeremy provided fantastic comedic value. Lastly, Bexson played fantastic golf, driving the ball superbly and playing outstanding golf given the terrible playing conditions. Shooting 7 under his handicap did raise eyebrows but on the whole his performance was worthy of the prestigious UWMCC golf day title.
As ever, thanks to Larkins for organising – bring on golf day in Term 3, where hopefully the weather will be kinder!